So, I’m taking a break from my painfully slow finish of my travel series to focus on my other favorite thing to write about: mental health! If you’ve kept up with this blog or spoken to me in person, you know that last semester was one of the hardest times of my life. A lot of it was situational, but even so, my mental health was nowhere near where I wanted it to be. So, I decided that I was going to take it easy this semester. Almost all of the situational factors are gone now, I dropped my second major (communications) because I realized I really did not enjoy it, I’m in 12 credits, and I’m only taking classes that deeply interest me.
So why the hell am I still having such a hard time feeling happy?
I figured I should be “better” by now, given the change in my circumstances, but I’m not. I want to be candid about this, as always, because this is such an important aspect to mental health. It’s not all situational. You could be in the best situation possible and still feel like you’re struggling, because chemical imbalances don’t give a damn what your situation is.
I’ve been taking the same medication for about four years now. It has worked marvelously, up until recently. I’ve decided to take this as my cue to head back to the psychiatrist and get my meds switched. I think I assumed that once I found a medication that worked for me, I’d be on it for the rest of my life, but I forgot that there are other factors involved. In my case, a major factor is the fact that I recently started on birth control, which obviously messes with my hormones, and therefore messes with my moods. I need a professional to step in and help me figure out what’s the best thing for me to do now. Maybe it’ll be up-ing the dosage of my current meds, maybe it’ll be changing my birth control, maybe it’ll be changing my meds, maybe it’ll be changing both. The point is, I can’t really know. All I know for sure is that something is off, and my body is telling me that it’s time to do something about it.
I’m not writing this to get pity or anything of that sort. I just want to draw attention to the fact that, especially from ages 16-20, you’re going through a ton of changes. We need to be a little bit more patient with ourselves in finding our groove, and part of that groove may include a change in medications.
There are obviously external factors involved as well. I’m trying to be more social, but in a healthier way than going out all the time, so I recently joined a sorority! (Tri Delta, more on that later) I’m also working on budgeting better, because the stress of paying bills doesn’t help when I’m stressed about other things.
Overall, I just want everyone to remember that taking medication should not be looked down on. You would never tell someone with diabetes to skip their insulin, so don’t act like someone with depression should skip their meds either. And sometimes, you have to reevaluate your choices in medication, which is exactly what I’m about to do.
Stay tuned for more updates,
xoxo, second sister suzie