Hello my lovelies! Just stopping in with another mental-health-related post, because apparently that’s becoming a recurring theme here on the blog. I’m not complaining about that, though. I want to continue opening up these conversations, and I think a huge part of that is opening up when things aren’t going well. Fairly often, I see people opening up about their mental illness long after the fact. This is wonderful, of course, but I also want to acknowledge that it’s an ongoing battle, one which you may not always be on the winning side of.
The truth is, I’ve been struggling a bit lately. School has been ridiculously hard (thank goodness I only have one final left), my love life has been rocky, to say the least, and money–or rather, my lack of–has been becoming more and more of an issue. To top it off, seasonal depression is a very real thing, one that I am extremely susceptible to. But, I look around me and see everyone stressed, so I figured it was just a funk, and that I just needed to wait it out.
Last week though, I had an exceptionally bad mental health day. I went down the rabbit hole of self-loathing, and wound up leaning on some toxic habits that I’ve successfully been avoiding for a while now. I guess it was the wake-up call that I needed. I’m upping the dosage on my meds, and I’ve made a conscious effort to keep those close to me informed on all of this. Just admitting that, “hey, maybe this isn’t just a funk, maybe it’s the chemical imbalances in your brain fucking you up,” has lifted a massive weight off my chest, and I’m already beginning to feel better.
I’m incredibly lucky to have gone this long on such a high swing. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but I let myself get hopeful for a while. Overall, things could have been much worse. I think I caught this low swing early on, and I have an amazing support system to help me through.
I’m not posting this for pity, or for you to call me brave, or any other ulterior motive. I simply want to remind everyone that not every day will be your best, and that is fine. It’s okay to not be okay. Take a moment to check in on your friends, even the ones that seem strong enough to handle anything. Maybe even more importantly, take a moment to check in on yourself.
As always, if you’re struggling, I am always willing to listen and help in any way that I can.
Stay tuned for more updates,
xoxo, second sister suzie